Who out there does not worry about finances. How are we going to pay the bills? Will we be able to survive in our retirement and so on and so on. Since I was born my family has never had much money but we have always been happy and survived on what we have had. The reasoning behind this entry is because I have always wanted to be an ordinary mother and housewife taking care of the family. But I have found lately that since I have given up my steady part-time position of 32 hours a week that I am looking for hours to work because of my fear of not having enough money to pay the bills. I ask myself why. I know we can survive. So why am I working five days a week at two jobs?
I have found I can not sit at home and not earn a wage. I worry constantly about how we will meet our debts again I ask myself why, Steve assures me we are fine financially. But the nagging in my mind says find work to help out.
I wish I could relax and take each day as it comes but I can't. I feel if I am not helping in the money side of things I will lose some part of me. I have to contribute.
From the early age of I think I was 11 I started my work life. My first job was mowing my neighbours lawn to pay for my dogs food. My second job was peeling prawns in a factory (smelly and very sore cut hands) third job newsagent, fourth job travel agent, fifth job government, sixth job mother and wife. I had six years off to have my two girls then when my youngest turned two I went back into the work force as a night filler in a supermarket very tiring. I always made sure the girls were bathed and fed and my husbands dinner was ready before he came home. I have spent the last eighteen and a half years with the same company working my way up in the positions now to find myself in need of a life jacket as I now have no permanent position.
I have self doubt as to whether I can survive in the academic world learning new things I hope I can and maybe get a better job, one that I will truly enjoy waking up to go to.
Meanwhile I will still get as many possible hours working so I feel I am contributing to the everyday running of the house.
3 comments:
Hi Madonna. I think that you have good writing ability. Do you think of studying journalism or free lance writing? Maybe you could stay home to do that? - Dave.
Nice thought and thank you for the vote of confidence Dave but I am going to try my hand at land management and conservation in the new year and see how I go.
Good luck with that.- Dave
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