Fourteen and a half years ago I was told by my then husband and two daughters that we were getting a new pet ( a dog). My response was a resounding NOOOOOOO. For all my protest she still arrived. She visited for one night to see if she liked us and we liked her. She stayed for fourteen and a half years.
Her first week I slept with her downstairs and then took a week off work to try and settle her into some routine. (That was a joke she made up her routine as she went along.) After two weeks she got sick with kennel cough,I still remember her snuggled up on my chest fast asleep. As much as I said no she became a very big part of my life.
I remember spending several hours looking for her one day only to find she had chewed the mesh under an old lounge chair and made a hammock for herself and fell asleep.
Her first couple of years were a nightmare she tried to escape from every nook and cranny in the back yard. I spent a fortune on mesh and wood to stop her squeezing through fences and digging under them.
I have so many memories of her digging, chewing and escaping. She became a part of our family and my life. She saved my sanity and my life when my marriage fell apart. She became my best friend, she gave me comfort and healing, she never judged, yelled, cried or talked back, she just gave me lots of love and cuddles.
This week the time came for me to repay all her love and companionship in a way that I hated having to do, I made the decision to have her put to sleep.
She had stopped eating on Monday so we took her to the vet on Tuesday the results came in on Tuesday night saying her kidneys were failing and I needed to get a urine sample. What fun job that was standing around waiting for her to pee and then getting a bottle under her when she did. She didn't mind though because I think she knew or maybe by then she didn't really care.
What followed will be etched in my memory forever. The vet saying this is not curable and we could make her comfortable for the next 4-6 weeks. How do you make them comfortable by sticking needles into them and shoving pills down their throat and putting them on drips because they are not eating because their gums are swollen and their teeth are sore and they feel sick. How I ask you HOW???
So on the 01/06/2011 at 10.15am I made one of the hardest decisions I have made in my life to have my best friend put to sleep. Rest in Peace my baby girl because I won't for a while to come. Guilt is not an easy friend to live with even though I feel I did right by her I still fell guilty. Did I make the right the decision or not, there was no going back, when the vet brought her back into to me after it was done I thought NOOOOO again. (Come back for one last cuddle and smile).
She will be sadly missed.
Xena warrior princess beagle born the 10/12/96 died the 01/06/11.
Now two days later I look at her empty bowl, her blanket, her toys and her photo and wonder what if I had changed my mind. I could have had 4-6 weeks with her But would that have been fair on her?
Love you baby. R.I.P.
